Yes, tonight is one of those rare evenings in LA teaming with pouring rain, umbrellas, damp ankles and soggy shoes and sneakers. Does it put a damper on my mood? Not particularly. The atmosphere tonight has been very conducive to a pensive state of mind. It has me wondering where I’m headed and if it is in the direction towards my self-fulfillment.
Guess where I am blogging tonight? None other than my favorite Starbucks yet again. Besides the mean chai tea lattes, I find in Starbucks a peaceful environment that allows me to focus and produce unlike my apartment which lends itself to laziness and unproductivity. Within the last two hours here, I have managed to write and address all of my holiday cards, each containing a meaningful, lengthy personal message. Speaking of holiday cards, I have yet to purchase a single present for anyone on my gift list. This is quite unnerving, considering there is little I can do to about that at the moment. My music video has left me without much more than the means to eat, pay my bills and enjoy a beer with my friends, but I have no regrets. You only live once and who can tell how long that will last.
It’s always been my fantasy to produce and star in my own music video. Rather than talking about staging such a production like most people in this town, I actually took action and executed the vision. In the process, I sold my new LCD TV, my sofa, my recording equipment and emptied out my savings account. It’s cozy and comfortable to maintain possession of materials while you prance around town pontificating about all the film projects you have “in the works.” But where does it really lead you when all your ideas remain idle on paper and in conversation? While some of these hot shots may actually be forging ahead with their projects, too many of them are all talk. I couldn’t allow myself to fall into that herd.
Therefore, as painful as it was and still is for me to have exchanged my financial security for my dream, I had to tear off the band-aid quickly and hastily. Sure, I had my share of naysayers, those who considered my behavior rash, reckless and mad. In my eyes, they are content in their stagnancy, living within the comfort zone void of risk and star-reaching. Had I not forged ahead without second-guessing myself or turning around, I would not have this music video today which I am so proud to share with others.
Tonight, I wish to end my blog with the following conclusion or food for thought. Never allow others to weaken your spirit while they sit content and criticize you for attempting to transcend beyond their limited realm. Whether you fail or succeed in these pursuits which others frown upon, at least you can walk away with pride in the knowledge that you made the attempt.
